Anger management??

So I surfed thru the world that be Youtube and found some ICCT20 ads. You know Indian ones.
(Yeah that's how we expats keep in touch. Thank you gods for inventing Youtube.)

And most of the ads are all aggression n' all.
Hmm.
A sample:



OK.

Another one:



And finally:



Except for the pizza delivery guy and the guys at the end, everyone looks angry.

Why? Me wonders.

Just turn off the TV

Well some people have a problem with T20.
Not ICCT20WC. No, because it "will restore some perspective, some romance and fascination." However they see a problem with "a glut of fixtures and contests, ... driven too much by greed."
People "greed" now means IPL. Update your dictionaries.

And,

Iam a fan of T20 and to my surprise I enjoyed last year's IPL tournament. I have been unable to watch this year's tournament because my concern is that Pakistan and its cricketers are being systematically marginalised by certain elements of the international cricket community.

Uff! No No!! See, the govt. of Pak stopped its players from participating! But you do know that already, don't you?

Wait....

OK, I banged my head against the wall in exasperation.

(Aww... don't worry. I am OK.)

I know there is a domestic tournament going on in Pak now, perhaps the ICC should put a stop to it. And then there is the ICL too. Wait. That is dead. The market took care of it.

But really, if someone hates the IPL, I have a simple solution: switch off the TV. And don't think about it. If Modi kills the market with an overdose of the IPL, Indians will have to deal with it. Because it is our market. We are the market. And we'll pay the price.

Dhoni disappoints me!

Heck no, not for calling me didiji...
(I have been called worse, like "auntie". *sigh* I know... its a cruel, cruel world.)

Instead he disappoints me by showing up in a video with Bips.



Ok. Stop. Before you Bips fans (and we know there are plenty out there) decide to curse me, really doesn't it look like she has starved herself to near death?
On principle I am against anorexia... so thatz all I am saying.

Interviewing the captains...

So the ICCT20 WC thinggy is upon is. Well almost.
All those still suffering with IPL withdrawal symptoms should be seeing the light at the end of the tunnel.

(No?
Still depressed? Quick click on this.
No. Stop. Go back. Click on it.
Really, I would've put it in here if they did not have "Embedding disabled by request." Whatever.
Heard it?
I know, melancholic right? Well don't hate me. When you'll look back at this moment in your life when the T20Wc starts, you'll thank me for providing you with a personalized soundtrack.
Promise.)

Anyway. Where was I? Yeah, so I wandered around the blogosphere and found out some good reasons why Pak will win it & why Aus won't.

And on Cricinfo, we have Sachin, Boycott, and Mickey Arthur endorsing India.
What???
Ok I am pretending I did not read/hear that.
Hate starting as favourites.
To be fair Boycott and Arthur endorsed South Africa too.
Wait.
What???
Shoot. To be in the same category as the Saffers, how sad is that??
OK I am pretending I did not read/hear that too.

Anyway, the news is that I got a chance to interview the captains of the various teams and question them on their chances for the T20 carnival.
And I've decided to share the transcripts with you.
Here we go...

Leela: Hi Ricky! What are the chances of Australia winning the ICC WorldT20?
Ricky Ponting: Ah look, we'll surely win the Ashes.
L: Er.. no, I meant the ICC WorldT20 that is being held in England.
RP: Ah look. See I hate Cardiff. Bad memories. &%#$% Deshis. And hate Lords. Bloody poms. ECB bloody %$&* playing mind games. Ah look.
L: Huh? No the T20...
RP: Ah look. What don't you understand you *()$#$%#@
L: (*in tears*) Please don't sledge. I am not used to it...
(*Sniff*)

Clearly that did not go too well...

Leela: Hi Ashraful! What are the chances of Bangladesh winning the ICC WorldT20 this year?
Mohammad Ashraful: Well see the format is made for us. And we definitely do well in world cup matches. See we defeated India in WC 2007...

(*Leela leaves the room in a huff.*)
Clearly that did not go too well either...

Leela: Hi Paul! What are the chances of England winning the ICC WorldT20 this year?
Paul Collingwood: Well we always love losing. Er... (*smiles sheepishly*), please I meant winning. WINNING. W-I-N-N-I-N-G. Flower tells me to keep repeating that word.
So yeah, we'll win it this year.
L: Right. (*Cough*)

Getting better...

Leela: Hi (*giggle*)Dhoni(*giggle*)!
MSD: Yes.
L: (*Giggle*)
D: (*looks uncomfortable*)Pls ask the question.
L: (*giggle*) What are the chances of India (*giggle*) winning the ICC WorldT20 this year? (*giggle*)
D: (*attempts to look serious and calm while is clearly disturbed by the slightly neurotic look in Leela's eyes*)
Didiji, if Sehwag and Gauti fire, and Yuvi hits those six sixes, and I and Raina and Rohit and Pathan score well, and the bowlers, such as RP, ZAK, and Bhajji do well, and we all take our catches and I don't miss easy stumpings, sure we'll win.
L: Do you have a girl friend? Really that Rai woman? Haan....
(*Leela is "escorted" out by Dhoni's Angels.*)

(*cough*) Yeah I think that went well. :D

Leela: Hi Dan! What are the chances of New Zealand winning the ICC WorldT20 this year?
Dan Vettori: Yeah we'll surely win it this year.
L: Great!
DV: I mean if not that, we'll definitely be 3rd or 4th.
L: Huh?
DV: Well depends on whether the team that beats us in the semis wins the thing or is the runner-up.
L: Oh Ok. So you are saying...
DV: Yeah we'll definitely be there in the semis.

Moving on...

Leela: Hi Younis! What are the chances of Pakistan winning the ICC WorldT20 this year?
Younis Khan: (*Smiles*) Dekhiye Ji, Hum yeh saal zaroor jitenge. ("we'll surely win it this year").
L: You sound confident.
YK: (*smiles*) Well we always win at T20. Last time too we won.
L: Er... no. India won.
YK: No. (*smiles*) We won the ICL trophy. Did we not?
L: Er... yes. But that was the Lahore Badshaahs.
YK: (*smiles*) Yeah that was Pakistan. Ask Tony Greig. He even passed a racist comment on us.
L: Er... OK.

Hmm.

Leela: Hi Graeme! What are the chances of South Africa winning the ICC WorldT20 this year?
Graeme Smith: Yeah we'll surely win it this year. You shouldn't even be asking that question!
What a choke! I mean joke! We are the favourites.
Leela: Sure.

Leela: Hi Kumar! What are the chances of Sri Lanka winning the ICC WorldT20 this year?
Kumar Sangakkara: Well...
L: Wait. Isn't Mahela the captain?
KS: Er.. no its me.
L: But why isn't Dilshan captaining? Last time, against India, he almost had a heart attack.
KS: Er... I am the captain.
L: But it was fun to watch Dilshan...

(*Kumar leaves the room in a huff*)

Leela: Hi Chris! What are the chances of West Indies winning the ICC WorldT20 this year?
Chris Gayle: Well first I want to make it clear I love Tests.
L: Er.. OK. What about..
CG: (*interrupts*) See I don't mind even the IPL.
L: Huh?
CG: I mean test matches in the IPL. Plus we could get paid by the hour.
L: Er... what?? Wouldn't that make the tournament too expen... I mean, long?
CG: (*angry/fuming*) Was that a joke about the WC 2007 held in the Caribbean??
L: (*in tears*) No....(*Sniff*)

Started in tears, ended in tears. Clearly I am no good at this.
Ciao.

The united colors of cricket

I once wrote that I find the "united colors of cricket" that is the IPL maha cool. Not much has changed after IPL2. I still feel the same.

Isn't it fun to watch top international players in what is essentially an Indian domestic tournament?

Also, hard to feel any other way when you saw Gilly and the Deccan Chargers celebrating after they won the match, and the (hideous) trophy. It meant a lot to the players one could tell.
Is it the same as playing for your own country? Well I certainly hope not...
However top athletes play for pride and that much was quite evident in the finals.. actually throughout the tournament.

And how about regional affiliations? Is that feeling strong too among players? I am obviously speaking of domestic players here...
Did Rohit drop his intensity because he was playing for DC and not MI? Heck no. Silly to even think that way. Again the small matter of pride.

And what about us supporters? How strong were the regional affiliations for us? And what about the presence of international stars swaying our way of thinking as far as who to support is concerned?
Intrestingly, say what you may about the north-south thinggy, RP Singh played for DC and Virat Kohli for RCB. And both are from the north. So really how regional was I while supporting either DC or RCB ?
And if I did support a team based on regional affiliations, that is kosher too isn't it? I mean the success of such a domestic tournament obviously relies on such affiliations. Don't we see that in other domestic sporting events too in India? And it happens in other countries too...

Anyway all in all good fun. Whosoever you supported, I hope you had a great time.

The only thing I didn't understand was why Danny Morrison was supporting DC?? He said something about an "Aussie connection". WTH Danny! What about a KIWI connection? I mean Ross Taylor and Jessie play for RCB!

Some thoughts on the match (well not really...):

# I was getting irritated when Roy kept sledging 19 year old Pandey. Really Roy I like you, however these are the times I remember why we "whine" about the Aussies.
And it was funny to hear Harsha comment on it and try and convince Danny to say something. Danny of course was in an "I love the Aussies" mode.

# I like Rudolph. (Van der Merwe people.)

# Is it just me or Rohit looks like the oldest 23 year old.

# Isn't RP a nice guy?

# And Rahul dropped a catch and played a fugly shot. And he was responsible for selecting all those Saffers who, you people tell me, are renowned chokers. Tch Tch.
KIDDING RD supporters. Kidding!!
:-)
(See I even put a smiley face in there.)

# Uthappa messed up the last over; I guess that will be his cross to bear.

# Is it just me or do you also think that Grumpy.. er.. I mean Yuvi quite frankly doesn't care about the Fly Kingfisher Fairplay award thinggy?

P.S Do read this post.

Australia or South Africa? Who do you heart?

Yes. That is the question.

On one side you have Gilly, Roy, Boof, Harris, and Rohit (who I think the Aussies like). Sure Gibbs is there. But he is a duck. We don't care.

On the other side you have Kallis, Rudolph, Bouch, Jennings, Steyn, DuPreez etc etc.

And sure there are some Kiwis there too. However we don't hate them enough. In fact we like them.

So the big question. Forget B'lore. Forget Hyd.
It all boils down to: Australia or South Africa.

Does your heart still beat for the Australia of the yore. Like how it was many....many.. many years ago. Like an eternity ago. Like in 2007.
Or you are a closet Chappell fan, and actually secretly liked Guru Greg and his Chappell way.

Or are you all about the blah Saffers. Sure they seem all cold and distant. But you like them. And you cannot cheat on Gary Kirsten.

Decide people decide.

P.S Please make sure to read some more about this here.

Royal Challengers way coooler than the Kings...

*Sniff.*
Sad but true.

Its over people. The campaign is over.
The batsmen failed. The bowlers failed. The fielders failed.
It was all average in general.
I mean when Parthiv is the top scorer, you know its cr@p.
And when so many fours are hit, you know the bowling is cr@p.
And when catches are dropped and misfields are seen, you know its cr@p.
And what was with them bowling changes??? Why Dhoni?

I won't praise the BRCs .. well not because I am a poor sport.. I am just disappointed.
Well OK I have to say the kid Pandey was good. And the bowling was good. Dravid was the wall. And Kumble led them well. Kholi was spunky, as usual. (BTW did you notice it was mostly the Indian players who shone for BRC?) And the last over by BRC was great.

Back to CSK. 145 (whatever) was never enuff. No it wasn't.
Meanwhile, I thought Gony's IPL career was over na? Why was he there?
And Murali dropping them catches.
And how many boundaries were hit?
Haan?
And bringing Murali on soooo late.

Its over.
The BRCs are now in the finals, and the BRC supporters will drink to that I guess.

What about CSK? Them people better start shopping for bowlers is my suggestion.
And fielders.

Anyway.

Poor Dhoni. Looked so sad. As did the rest of them. And the way the BRCs celebrated. *Sniff.*
I am telling myself its OK. We have DC in the finals right? That is good news right? Glass half-full right?

*sniff* Right.
Ciao.

P.S Yes all you Dhoni/CSK haters are allowed to gloat on my blog. Its OK. I won't hold it against you.

A charged up Gilly knocks out the Daredevils!

Did you think of the Kiwis? You know always the bridesmaid never the bride?
You know when you watched the DDs ka performance.
I did; considering the same thing happened last year as well.

Anyway, so DC won. Yay! What a relief after last year's sorry campaign.
Being a Secunderabadi n' all, I am happy even though I wasn't rooting for them at the start of the tournament.

Ok OK don't call me a flip-flopper. I am allowed to claim them roots, especially when the Deccans are playing well. *Cough*.
Ok, I think I am a flip-flopper. OK.

And now about the main man: Gilly.
What a knock. Reminded me of the WC2007 finals; I was supporting the Lankans that day, so I was of course sad. But that knock was sooo demoralizing for the opposition. Same as today's.
Superb.
Also helped Rohit to stroll in the middle. His family in Mumbai must be on chill pills today. What a welcome change.

On a different note Boof must not send in Bilakhia at #3. What was that about???

What of DD? Well we'll talk of them next year.

P.S Did you place your bets on Deccan this year? You would've made some money. Even I would have, if I had... you know if I had taken a risk. Sigh.

P.P.S If its a DC v. CSK final, I will support CSK.

P.P.P.S I thought R.I.P Hansie everytime I saw Gibbs on the field today. Just saying.

T20: All about luck?

You tell me.

Many former players have said that T20 is all about luck and is "not quite cricket".

Apparently whosoever can slog, does well. "Test players" (and by the token of that phrase they become "real cricketers") don't do well because they can't play those ugly shots.

Similarly bowlers get lucky in getting wickets, because batsmen take more risks.

There are more runouts as well. And its fast-paced so clearly not for the OTs (over thirty-somethings).

So they say.

However, the more I look at the current semi-finalists and the tournament in general, the more I think otherwise.

# Now look at a team like CSK, we know its batsmen heavy and we've always known that apart from Murali they don't have an international bowler. Sure Albie and Oram bowl, but even for their own national teams, they are not the frontline bowlers.

So did T20 make them lucky, and mask their performances?
No. Their bowlers have often been caught underpeforming, and Dhoni hasn't minced any words while stating the same.

# Similary RR underperformed because many of their local players haven't played for Team India. And those who did do well, were Team India players, like Pathan and Jadeja.

Last year RR's performance was most talked about, and Warne's leadership was the focal point of that story; however, we tend to forget that Smith was in-form(and he was the leading ODI batsman), they had Shane Watson doing well, and Jadeja and Pathan to hold fort.

Similarly, in bowling they had Sohail Tanvir (who did exceedingly well-purple cap holder), Munaf, and of course Warne.

I am not taking anything away from Warne. I am only trying to say that their win was no fluke, there were cricketing reasons associated with those victories. No?

# Now look at a team like Punjab, they missed a good opener like Shaun Marsh, missed Lee for most of the tournament and Sreesanth was benched as well due to injury. It reflected in their inconsistent performances.

Meanwhile, one of their leading batsman, Ravi Bopara, went on to score centuries against the Windies. So a good batsman in T20 as well as tests.

# Similarly, who have been the best batsmen of the tournament? Who have top scored? Among Indians, we immediately think of Raina and Rohit; and these two have often been considered test prospects, and not just sloggers.
Also, among internationals, we think of Hayden, AB, Duminy, Sanga etc. Again quality batsmen.

# Look at the bowlers: Malinga, RP, Edwards... these people did not get lucky did they? Wouldn't they be selected by their national teams for ODIs as well?

# And I've already talked about the "old men" doing well.

The point is that the more I look at the teams, those that had good players and were well-led did well.
Sure KKR and MI, despite being good teams, choked at important moments, but would you call that being "not lucky".. for isn't mental strength also a sporting/cricketing skill?

So sure T20 is not TEST cricket, but is it ALL about luck?
You tell me.

Thank You!

Ok I've recovered a bit.. especially after reading Q's detailed analysis & Kridaya's mathematically/statistically(?) explained take.

CSK is in the semis people.
Whistle podu.

Phew!

Bloody Hell!

I am angry! SUPER angry.
I had an intiution we'll lose. (Calm down, I have a witness.)
However I am still ANGRY. Like I could kill someone.
Hold.
.
.
.
.
I am back. (I killed the spider in my kitchen sink...I feel better. A li'l better.)

So.. um match analysis?

CR@P! That was the bowling.
Like SUPER KINGS style CR@P.

Go away people... go away.

The final four (maybe)

So I've decided to indulge in some crystal ball gazing and predict who the final 4 are in the IPL this year.
OK well its not as much as a "prediction" as it is a I-think-these-4. I mean I am not gonna bet my house on it.. but whatever.
And I am using the form guide. Unless someone has a major brain fade, this should be it.

For now the team standings are:

Teams MP W L RR P

Delhi 12 9 3 +0.31 18
Chennai 12 7 4 +1.02 15
Hyderabad 13 7 6 +0.27 14
Punjab 13 7 6 -0.42 14
Rajasthan 13 6 6 -0.36 13
Bangalore 12 6 6 -0.31 12

The matches that are yet to be played:

May 18 Chennai Super Kings v Kolkata Knight Riders : CSK 17.
May 19 Delhi Daredevils v Bangalore Royal Challengers: DD 20.
May 20 Rajasthan Royals v Kolkata Knight Riders: RR 15.
May 20 Chennai Super Kings v Kings XI Punjab: CSK 19.
May 21 Mumbai Indians v Delhi Daredevils: DD 22.
May 21 Deccan Chargers v Bangalore Royal Challengers: DC 16.

I am basing my results on form, like I said, and what has happened in the past.
This should take DD, CSK, DC and RR into the semis.
Lets see what happens.

OK. Lets see if I completely flip this..

May 18 Chennai Super Kings v Kolkata Knight Riders : KKR 5.
May 19 Delhi Daredevils v Bangalore Royal Challengers: BRC 14.
May 20 Rajasthan Royals v Kolkata Knight Riders: KKR 7.
May 20 Chennai Super Kings v Kings XI Punjab: KXIP 16.
May 21 Mumbai Indians v Delhi Daredevils: MI 13.
May 21 Deccan Chargers v Bangalore Royal Challengers: BRC 16.

Well then it would be DD, BRC, KXIP, and CSK.
Not bad.

Munaf (Pa)Tales!

19th Over, DD innings: 25 runs.
Ends it with "friendly banter" with Kartik and AB.

Batsmen Runs B 4s 6s SR
*MM Patel (rhb) 23 10 5 0 230.00

Continues "friendly banter" with Kartik.

Enuff said!

The over that set the Bull Ring on fire...

That over. Poor Mortaza, first he gets Hussey run out and then bowls THAT over.
THAT hellish over. Which never ended. Well sort of.

And Rohit, what about him?
If someone died of a heart-attack in either Hyd'bad or Dhaka, I think we can safely blame him.
Phew!
And to think I knew the outcome already.
Wow!

In other blah news, I am happy Hodge took Gilchrist's wicket-I finally saw some human emotion on Hodge's face. Finally.

P.S Dear Dada; such a drama queen. LOL. Funny singles, that attempt to "protect" himself, and he even managed to provide Rameez Raja and Keppler Wessels with some school-boy giggles. Not that them comm ppl need any excuses.
Sigh. Nicholas, where are you?

The might of Hayden

So it must be pretty clear for those who have been visiting this blog, that I am no Haydos fan. (The only time I felt sorta kinda nice about him was when I read this. Of course that had more to do with the eloquence of the writer than any fanlove for Haydos.)
Hmm.

However, it would be silly to look at CSK's win(s) without acknowledging Haydos' contributions.
He has been imperious, dominating-very much like the bully he has always been; sooo good that we haven't really missed the other opener (who?).

Sure Raina, Dhoni, & Badri have made useful/match-winning contributions (and bowlers have done well too), but Haydos has been a constant for CSK.
Iam not looking at the Cricinfo stats right now, but if my memory serves me correctly he has just failed in one match.

In a way its worrying too because in the last match (CSK v. BRC) once Dhoni got out to a freak catch, the rest of the batting lineup crumbled. And it was only Haydos' score that gave some respectability to the total.

Meanwhile, quick note on the match:

Fielding woes continue to trouble the Super Kings. The special one missed an easy stumping but I am liking his cool act when getting back throws from the out field and attempting run outs.
(My friend alerted me to that during the Rudolf run out the other day, and today Pommie too mentioned it on commentary :-)
However, they need to fix this ASAP. And Albie and Oram need to start scoring. ASAP. (I mean in whenever they get a chance to bat... not speaking of this match.)
But all in all they did well. A victory is a victory, so no complaints.

MI are of course out; plagued by some strange cannot-close-the-deal malaise. To be fair to them at least they did not put their fans through an edge-of-the-seat-choke experience.
Hmm.

Anyway, before I take leave, I have to say, at the end of the match, when the men in yellow mobbed Hayden, jumping around him like kids it felt weird, strange... and just right.
With big Matt leading the way, I think CSK will be OK.

What is the magic number?

Lemme just fess up and say that I am mathematically-challenged.

So CSK has 3 more matches. And I am begining to wonder what they need to do to get into the semis. Win 1 or 2 or all 3?

This is their schedule:

May 16,2009 Saturday Chennai Super Kings v Mumbai Indians

May 18,2009 Monday Chennai Super Kings v Kolkata Knight Riders

May 20,2009 Wednesday Chennai Super Kings v Punjab Kings

So far they have 13 points from 11 matches. How many will seal the deal?
What is the magic number?

Thriller!

Wah! The men in blue stage a thriller!!
Wow what a match.
Every delivery meant something! What an over by Munaf patel.
Kept his nerve.

Anyway, feel bad for MI; so near yet so far.
:o(
Oh if only Abhishek Nayar had stayed on...if only.

The rest of the match wasn't bad either; especially the play within a play between the two old old "foes"?
I am speaking of that Warne v. Sachin over, of course.
They both bluffed about them wides!
:o)
Well if you believe the comms anyway.

Have to say it was the never say die spirit of Warne that helped the RR cross the line.
Good captaincy. He always keeps his troops motivated.

Speaking of captaincy... what about the other match: CSK v. BRC?
BRC were cruising and Dhoni just did not give up. Took it to the last over with great field placings, and sustained the pressure.

Who knows, if not for the wayward throw from Raina and the 4 byes, CSK might have crossed the line... who knows. Maybe.

DC commit hara-kiri!

Apparently.

See I wouldn't know it because my stupid Willow Tv replay thinggy stopped at 70 runs reqd from 45 balls or something like that.
(*Hmpf*)

So anyway I did what the poor peasants do.
I checked Cricinfo.

Fall of wickets1-33 (Suman, 2.5 ov), 2-40 (Sharma, 4.2 ov), 3-86 (Gilchrist, 10.5 ov), 4-149 (Ravi Teja, 16.6 ov), 5-150 (Symonds, 17.2 ov), 6-151 (Smith, 17.4 ov), 7-155 (Venugopal Rao, 18.3 ov), 8-155 (Singh, 18.4 ov), 9-161 (Ojha, 19.3 ov), 10-161 (Shoaib, 19.4 ov)

Now I really want to see the match!
Uff!

OK some song-therapy:



Much better.

IPL and the Bollywood beauties

I found some pertinent questions being asked on the blogosphere regarding the selection of "IPL Ms. Bollywood". Especially by Imran.

That they [black women] are not beautiful? That they are not worthy if being
in Bollywood? That they are not worthy of being in movies?

My response.

With all due respect, every country has its own definition of ideal beauty. In India too there is an existing ideal; and people like Aishwarya, Deepika Padukone, Rani etc typify that ideal.

And it is not always to do with fairness of skin color. For example, lighter-skinned actresses from Pakistan like Salma Agha and Zeba Bhaktiyar, in the 80s and 90s respy, tried to break into Bollywood but could not because they did not fit the "Indian ideal".

Also, interestingly people like Priety also often do not get certain roles, because the look "too Western".

Bollywood caters to a hugely diverse nation like India and people like Aish, and DP cut across regional lines in popularity.
So its not about black or white; its about the "ideal" brown with the "ideal" Indian features.

Also, its not that white women are successful in Bollywood either. Most of them do two-bit roles and its very few film makers who cast them in lead roles. In the past only Rang De Basanti, Kisna and Lagaan come to mind and the scripts were quite specific; a brown woman could not have played that role.

Sorry this is a sticky subject. But the assumption is that since matrimonial ads in India often talk of "lighter" skin, white must be considered beautiful. The truth is, its not. When people talk of lighter skin, they mean lighter brown. Not white.
Again apologies if I sound insensitive.

I agree that dark skin is also often not considered beautiful. However, there are dark-skinned actresses in India whose "ideal" Indian features have helped them be successful in Bollywood. For example, Bipasha Basu.

I agree white women at least find a few roles and roles for black women are basically not there in Bollywood and that must change. And I also agree that the media should perhaps raise this issue.
However, who is selecting these girls? Modi? SRK's production house? If its the latter, perhaps they already know the kind of look they are after?

The Knights lose... again

Apparently even playing well does not help KKR or Brenden McCullum. Team BRC came to the party and promptly flogged the dead horse. Even after a good total, the bowlers basically gave it away.
So how much BRC score in the last 5 overs? 100? Ok ok I am exaggerating, but it did seem like that.

(There should be a rule in place for the bottom-feeders of the tournament... maybe like after losing 9 games on the trot, a team should be allowed to salvage some pride by quietly quitting...)

Anyway what a sweet gesture on the part of the imperious Ross Taylor at the end of the game to walk up to the Prince and then pat him on his head. Awww..

And what is up with apna (our) sour Lambu? He got into an argy-bargy with Yuvi the other day and today was all angry young man. Did you see that over to Boucher and Taylor? Instead of all that gussa (anger) how about bowling a bit better?
The kid needs some rest is all I'll say.

Meanwhile, is it just me or do you also think Dwyane Bravo should've won the MOtM for the MI v. KXIP match?

KKR's chaos theory

KKR is now officially the poster-child of what-not-to-do-to-a-cricket-team.
Sad!

Chaotic and pathetic is what the team's collective thinking is like.
Should they bother to show up for the other games?
Not for my money.. but I am not a sadist. I hope others are not too.

Perhaps the gods of the IPL should just send em home.

Anyway, some questions:

1. Why is McCullum still allowed to open and even more importantly captain the team???
The prince has not been scoring runs so why was he retained? And his captaincy is pedestrian.

2. Similarly why is Cook lite (i.e Alistair Cook minus the mascara) meaning Moises Henriques still in the team? Is he related to Buchanan? Perhaps his love child?

3. Speaking of Buchanan... Rameez Raja should slap him. For fun. Q has volunteered on behalf of the Desi people, but Rameez is already there. And I thought we could swap one Pakistani for another.

4. Repeat: Speaking of Buchanan, why doesn't Shah Rukh slap him? Or sack him.

5. Why is Mashrafe Mortaza not in the playin 11?

Meanwhile the DDs did their thing. Nannes and Nehra were good. So were Mishra & Dilshan. And then Warner and AB played it cool.
Is it just me or do you too get the feeling that DD hasn't been tested yet? And if they do get tested I wonder how they'll react.

Super cool victory!

Yay!!

CSK bowling:

WTH Albie?? 16 runs? In one over? I am running outta patience boy!
While his cool brother from another mother, i.e Dhoni had two soop(h)er cool stumpings.
And aren't we all glad catches were taken.. ok ok Tyagi dropped one. But ok.

While the kings work on their fielding, I should probably learn how to whistle. Whohoo!(?)Hmm.

CSK batting:

Firstly lemme just say, whatever you said to Badri, Harwood, right back at you!!
%$%^&*%$#@
And yes like his folks say, Praise the Lord for Haydos.
Umm ok, I am begining to like Haydos now..
And Badri was SOOOPER cool.

Again an honest assessment by Dhoni!

I did not get the memo...

that Roy was playing.
(*Hmpf*)
I do like him you know. I would've bothered to get up early.

Well ok. Maybe not.

Anyway I hit play, and see KXIP win. Damn!

Will hit replay later.

Not fair that Roy makes 40 and still the team loses.
(I am doing 60 minus 20; why the hell does he bowl????)

Ciao. Gotta get ready for the big one. CSK v. RR!!

Mumbai Blues?

Perhaps.
Ok who am I kidding? Yes.

I wanted Mumbai to win. I mean this whole "choke" thing was becoming a joke.
However...

I am glad I did not see the entire match live. (The last few overs is what I saw) But I kinda knew from Cricinfo what had happened.
Yet I have to say I still wasn't quite prepared.....

Duminy opening???
Sachin at 4?
Sachin bowling.

And what I hated the most was Duminy's spell.
That was just cruel.
Cruel hope.

Btw, good job DD!

Of butchers and butter-fingers and a stroke of genius!

First there were the butchers.
A pair of them.
They carved up the Zintas.
Chopped 'em into pieces.
Chota chota chota pieces.
Ekdum tiny pieces.

Keppler the boxer was like a proud papa in the comm box. And I won't blame him. Why wouldn't he?

Then they came back after the break.

And I thought the CSKs will put some namak-mirchi and eat off the Zintas.
Without even grilling them. Prolly.

But the Zintas fought back and how.
The Thug, the Prince, and Mahela...
And the Agony that was Gony!
B-U-T-T-E-R-F-I-N-G-E-R-S.

And the man Dhoni plays a "LUCKY" hand.
Raina Raina. Haina Haina.

And we win!!
Phew!

Ciao. I'll go and take some medication.

The side-shows...

Midway through the tournament, CI has come up with a report card. Hmm.
So I decided to talk not-quite-but-yet-cricket.

1. First lets just get this out of the way: God/it/goddess/whatever is a pervert. Poor KKR. Isshh! What a mess! I reached for a box of kleenex when I read this; the Prince is officially now a pauper.

2. I am not sure what it is, but MI lack the X-factor. Is it Mission Impossible for them as far as the semi-final spot is concerned?

3. The Zintas must be glad that their opener scored a 100. Oh wait. That was against the Windies. Did someone say IPL is bad for international players??

4. Dirty Nanny for President. Yes. Thanks to him, I think...I think Gideon Haigh praised the IPL.
I think.

Strategic timeout:

A praise the lord moment for all Desis. I mean really. We. Must. Thank. The. Supreme. Thinggy.
Really. For sure.
Because Modi hasn't put an Englishman's wife on his knee. Yet. I think. Well in public anyway.

Can you imagine how much IPL/India/Modi-hate that would generate??
(*SHUDDER*)

5. Ms. Shetty has toned down her giggles. She has.

6. MSD isn't pathetic anymore. Actually he never was. Never will be. Ok me is stopping.

7. DC is like gongura chutney. Those who don't know what it is, must try it.

8. "Ooh I like it." (That is Boucherspeak for the uninitiated.) And that is what I am feeling about BRC's chances. Maybe I'll start liking the Saffers. Maybe.

That be all.

A "Kiplingese" view?

Something had been bothering me about the Rajasthan Royals. I said that RR was the one team I wouldn't support-despite Yousuf Pathan.
And I was bothered some more today while replaying the RR v. KXIP match. Especially with the commentary.
And then I came across this post.
Hmm.

The whole narrative about Warne and his eager-to-please band of followers is very Rudyard Kipling like. Duckingbeamers even talks about the Smith guiding Pathan issue that I talked about a few posts ago.
EDIT: Plus this post about Shane Harwood "guiding" the RRs to victory.
Are people like me being too sensitive?

Hearing Simon Doull's commentary made it even worse as he talked about how Warne was able to keep the entire team motivated single-handedly. Hmm.

EDIT: I agree the way everything is, it gets rather convenient for this type of narrative.
I mean Warne is pushing 40, while most of the RR players are less than 25. A very paternal relationship right there.

And look at even the composition of the team... mostly low-income, barely English-speaking unknowns...they literally hero-worship Warnie.

EDIT: Of course this was NOT by design. This simply happened.
In fact how would people like me have reacted if instead of Warnie the leader was Inzmam-Ul-Haq?? Hmm.

And Warne does crack the whip; the team isn't allowed to meet anyone prior to a game, players are not allowed out of the dressing room.
Imagine if an Indian captain did that? The phrase "pecking order" would be thrown around.

I don't have a problem with Warnie.
EDIT: In fact Warne hasn't minced his words when it comes to Graeme Smith either; he was quite open with his criticism for the Saffer's lack of form.

Its just that the narrative being built around the Rajasthan Royals bothers me.

Do I have a chip on my shoulder or do others see this Kiplingese view too?

That's the way, Mahi Ve!

Yes.
(*giggle*)

So it was the (*giggle*) Dhoni (*giggle*) show.

Take that all you jealous (*cough*) people who hate him.
OK sorry that was mean. I shouldn't have called you jealous. (*snort*)
You are just ugly.
Ok sorry, sorry.

Anyway.

Did you see him running between the wickets and rotating strike??
(Did you not hear him go bhaag-bhaag/run-run after each hit.)
THAT IS NOT BEING LUCKY!
That is called .. umm .. er running between the wickets and rotating strike.
Haan.

And those powerful "short-arm jabs"??
THAT IS NOT BEING LUCKY!
That is called .. umm .. er playing short-arm jabs.
Haan.

And hitting those fabulous fours and sixes??
THAT IS NOT BEING LUCKY!
That is called .. umm .. er hitting those fabulous fours and sixes.
Haan.

Did you see him hit that 50??
THAT IS NOT BEING LUCKY!
That is called .. umm .. er hitting a 50.

And did you pay attention at the presentation ceremony? How well he summed up everything.
So honest. That is called beauty with brains. TAKE THAT!

Sure sure Jakati got four wickets, Haydos set it up, Raina was good, Albie got a wicket first ball-was superb, and I am beginning to like Tyagi...a lot, but

DHONI SET UP THE GAME.
THAT IS NOT BEING LUCKY!
That is called .. umm .. er Dhoni setting up the game.
Haan.

So don't you dare criticize him; call him lucky and trivialize all his hard work.
Grrr...

Have a nice day. :-)

Who's your daddy now?

Or Mommy?
We can't be gender-biased now can we, considering Priety and Ms. Shetty too hold stakes in IPL teams?

I guess you've guessed by now that I am speaking of team owners and their role in a team's fortunes. Do they play a role? I mean we are quick to criticize a team-owner (and his/her interfering ways) when the team fails, but do we give credit to Priety, as my friend questioned me, when KXIP pull off victories?
(Meanwhile, and I am guilty too, there is always the usual round of pappi-jhappi jokes when it comes to Priety.)

While KKR have been a mess this year because of their management-quite succinctly captured by this article-are the other teams right in blaming their bosses for their failures?

Well to be honest, I am specifically speaking of BRC owner liquor-baron Dr. Mallaya because he is the only one who has been copping flak for his team's stats in IPL2008.
(DC were the wooden-spoon holders, however their behind-closed-doors approach helped them survive fan-anger.)

So why are most people are willing to place the blame firmly and squarely on Dr. Mallaya?

Because he played a bad shot or bowled badly?
OR
Because he has a flamboyant lifestyle which hurts our desi middle-class sensibilities?

Perhaps there is another reason.
Maybe, maybe - and I agree this is a radical concept- its the players, including Dravid, to blame?
Now before you Dravid fans, start plotting my demise (btw, my real name is Ricky Ponting, and I live in Australia...) lets look at this objectively. Shall we?

In IPL 2008, Dravid played 3 roles: batsman, captain, and selector (yes, look at the old footage and Dravid was given cart blanche to make selections at the auction).

As a player he was good.
He carried the team on his back with good scores and who knows might have had better scores if he hadn't lost batting partners. Maybe.

As a captain he was umm... unimaginative, therefore so-so.
Now lets see, if we can attribute the success of the Rajasthan Royals so unequivocally on Shane Warne, can't Dravid take at least 20% of the blame for his team's failure?

As a selector, he was a complete failure.
He selected international test players. And people like Wasim Jaffer. And Sunil Joshi. Why?

And since Mr. Mallaya was funding the entire shindig did he not have a right to get angry? So why are people so protective of Dravid?

The only problem I had with Vijay Mallaya was that he washed dirty linen in public; he openly made negative statements about Dravid during the competition. Otherwise where was he wrong?

And then the usual complaint is that he was interfering in his ways; making cricketing calls that he had no clue about. But if we backup a bit, did he not do this the right way-he gave the right to Dravid (a man with around 10,000 runs and years of cricketing experience) to call the shots.
And Dravid made the wrong calls. Isn't that so?

And this year BRC win 3 in a row and 4 in total. Whoa! Exactly.
So should Mallaya get the credit? Maybe?
(Interestingly during commentary, Shastri mentioned that Mallaya had suggested Dillon Dupree, and we saw what a success he was- so ..?)

Anyway, I am not anti-Dravid, but with BRC being relatively successful this year I am beginning to wonder if Dravid should be getting all that sympathy.

Later.

A Royal win!

Yup it was.
All authoritative n' all.

Should I apologize for all the hate I've been dishing to Kallis? Maybe.
Meantime Uthappa came good. Good.

I have to confess I took a strategic timeout when I saw Jaffer on the field? And giggled. Not a Shetty giggle, but a wth nervous giggle.

Yenappa? Jaffer yake T20 adake?

(Apologies to the digas if I butchered their language.)

Mumbai was off-color today. Pata nahi kyun

Kay jhala?

Anyway, like I said to a reader, its almost legal to hope for BRC victories now.
Ciao.

P.S Will go and watch the KXIP v. KKR match. How close was that?

P.P.S I must mention that SMG should stop bullying Danny Morrison; y'day it was about Dhoni being "freaky", today it was about the term "french cut"... arrey he is a Kiwi, not an Aussie- we like them people SMG, we like them.

A duel in the Bullring at the Wanderers...

It was.
(Wow Jo'berg is some place.)

Meanwhile in the middle, it was smokin' hot.

At one point when Warner and Dilshan were batting, I saw them stop right in the middle of the pitch to do some crack. (What are the WADA officials doing???)
And then Kartick joined him. Hmm. Bloody drohi.

(On the topic of Warner, I like him. He seems like such an eager beaver; eager to impress his Delhi team-mates. So friendly. And bats like .. well on crack.)

In the CSK innings Badri was hitting it. His fans will be very happy. They'll be going, "Poda Dhoni, Nai. Rascal."
Which is of course not fair. He stumped Warner when it mattered, didn't he??
And it looked like Albie failed again. Hmm. The comm box was soooo disappointed. Made up with his last over though.

Some hallelujah Praise the Lord moments for CSK:

# That stunning catch by Raina.
# The Tyagi delivery that killed AB.
# Adaab Shadab. What a delivery to get Dilshan.

Yay! We win!

Meanwhile somewhere in Australia Greg Chappell is going:

Ah look,
I always told them ^%&($% Indians that Raina is good. He was my pick dammit!
And now they get cozy with Kirsten! I backed Raina. I DID.%^^&(*
Ah look.

Congrats Jakati!

P.S. This is my 100th post. I wanna thank all those who swing by and read what I rant about. Special thanks to my friend. :-)

Bittersweet Durban

Yeah Durban so bittersweet for Yuvi...
A hat-trick at the site of those famous six-sixes.
And a well-made 50 and yet his team loses.
Hmm.

No pappis and Jhappis from Ms Zinta. Absolutely not.
Instead Yuvi should probably ask Bhajji to come by and slap a few of his team-mates; including Sreesanth.
Just for old times' sake.

And what about BRC and that guy whose name I cannot pronounce (let alone type) who won the match for BRC? Yeah Rudolph.

Great game for BRC. They win more matches than last season. Yay!
What can I say?
Except that Mallaya must be happy with his picks!
(Yes I am taking a cheap-shot at Mallaya bashers... more on this later.)

Peace.

Edit: Reader Tifosi Guy asked me for my take on the Sangakkara dismissal.. you know people are beginning to wonder if Boucher Haddined Kumar.
I replayed that part of the match and one can clearly see (in the side-on replay) that Boucher's gloves hit the stumps first and then the ball too crashes into the stumps.
Since I don't know what the law is, I went looking around, and found this on Kartikeya's blog "Further, his gloves appeared to touch the stumps before the ball did. Therefore the bowled dismissal should not have counted."
I guess (unless my eyes are acting wierd...) the dismissal should not have counted.